What if?

Today we learned that after 2 years following divorce, 70% of couples that divorced said that their marriage could have been saved. 70% of divorced males are remarried. What if they had just stuck it out? If only they could have seen the future. What's sad is that children suffers the consequences of divorce as well. This is what's hard. And it's even harder for the women when they don't have help, also delaying their dating process for prospect companions.

One of the things that I kept with me from our marriage ceremony were these words, "You are stuck with each other!" If marriage is ordained of God, then it should be honored by obeying covenants and doing all I can to make it work. No success come by quitting. We can't assume the end of something if all we care about is our self. In a marriage relationship, two makes one. We become one no matter what. We do whatever it takes to become like heavenly father.

The Family Barriers...

I think it's interesting to notice that the media has done a great job of avoiding telling about the issue of same sex marriage. Because when we talk about barriers for the family, there's really nothing out there that shows how the world supports the family, except for those who have deeply rooted in their trust in God.
This is where the family is at the center and its barriers include, faith, commitment to spouse and children, service to others, etc. While divorce is the outward influence that tends to break through these barriers, and adultery, contention in marriage, etc.
Interesting observation by brother Williams, he said "Gay people's objective is not to get marry- their objective is to destroy it."
He also talks about the four Ballast Qualities such as:

-Response-ability; opportunity and challenges
-Cooperation
-Respect
-Courage; "taking a known Risk for a known Outcome" (Michael Williams).

In class brother Williams also related a conversation he had with the local judge about the divorce cases with students and he says, "the judge simply reply, 'their reply was it's just not fun anymore' and that is the common case." People now days do not have the courage and the desire to work hard to rebuild or make corrections in their marriage.

"One for the Money"

-Budgeting
-Tithing
-Eliminating Debt
-Saving

One that really stood out to me was budgeting. To get to the bottom of it, it really makes it easier to say "no". We talked about finances as being one of the factors in divorce. I think it all boils down to how we prioritize and divi up our income. But first things first, and that is giving back ten percent to the Lord. Some people talked about how to set an account where that automatically takes care of that. And others are pretty traditional. But I think it's very important that the Lord is first. This is a principle that has govern the kingdom upon the earth without any stumbling block. It shows the faith of the members and their willingness to build the kingdom.
Eliminating debt is creating more freedom and room to breathe. We have to identify what's needed and discard the wants for the sake of our marriage and happiness in that marriage. There are times when things are necessary to loan money for, but there's also the time to say no.
By eliminating debt we can also save money and pay other debts faster. The faster we become debt free, the more we gather and the happier our family will be.

Parenting...

Which parent is a child better without? The mom or the dad?

This was an awesome approach by one of the young children made in front of a hearing during the case of same sex marriage. What an innocent insight yet inspiring and courageous of that little girl to stand up in defending the truth. Truth as it is, as it has been, and will be forever. So grateful that even young children understand the different abilities and characteristics of both gender in heading a family unit.

It's interesting how children perceive in the home. If I remember correct, we talked about some ways of going about creating a positive energy in the home and especially with the children.

1- Polite request
2- Firm request
3- Using "I" messages
4- Logical consequences

I've heard this from numerous occasion but also in this class that children are like video cameras with sound. Children record everything that goes on. They observe and later on act on what they learn from others especially from the parents. You know, when we grow up to have children I think we'll think like our parents did- "we only want what was best for them." I think too often we think about what we want for our children rather than showing them how we want them to be. The example that always comes to mind, is the one by Sister Julie Beck, and that was "the best way to love your daughter is by how you treat your wife."

Mothers are incredible. They feel so much, take so much, give much, and sacrifice so much for our families. I am grateful for the gospel because of it's teachings regarding motherhood. My wife use to tease me when she was pregnant with our first baby, "even when I'm just sitting, I am still working." And I guess it depends on how we've perceived the women in our lives to be. I know for a fact that the women in my life have been such hard workers and loyal to the men. Who else can play those roles better than my mom, or my wife, your mom and your wife? The home is where they belong. There is much to be done in the home and that is a fact. When women are called on for other responsibilities they will do all they can to support. But it is home that they ought to be.

Communication is vital in a relationship. I know that a lot of the problems we encounter in marriage life is the result of poor communication. One statement I remember that I liked from class is the fact that no one, not even our spouses can read our minds. God can. But only him. And I think this is why it's so important to include him in our lives, to counsel with him on a day to day bases; because he understands us better.
I also liked what we about with verbal and non-verbal language. How we used symbols and methods of communicating simple things. That's the way our Heavenly Father communicates to us, in fact many times, it's through personal feelings and the warmth in our inner-person that we recognize his communication.

One of things that came to me during one of our class discussion while talking about marriage relationship early on is the commitment level of each other and how that is crucial at this point in a couple's lives. I don't recall much about my parent's relationship when I was little, but I know that they made it through it because they had some sort of commitment. I am grateful for that. Marriage is a day to day building process and it all depends on how we as spouses view each other. I guess it makes me appreciative of the struggles that are blown towards our path and how many of them gets sent our way to prove that commitment and to test our hearts to see if we're gonna last.
But that's the beauty of the gospel. . . we are taught to stick with it and suffer through it because at the end, it'll all be worth it. Eternity!